Recently, I had a money coaching session with a woman in her fifties who wanted to loan her adult son money for a down payment on a home. It is a sizable amount, especially for someone who isn’t anywhere close to fully funding her retirement. The part that concerned me the most was that she planned to withdraw it from her retirement account.
As a mother, I understand the desire to give our children money. We would love nothing more than to see them become homeowners. Rather than let them work it out for themselves, we feel compelled to help them.
We need to stop feeling obligated to put our children’s and other people’s needs before our own. The habit of putting the well-being of others before our own is a classic avoidance behavior that prevents us from achieving our dreams and goals, and our true potential.
Giving away too much of your time, energy, and resources robs you of what is essential for your life and your future. Generosity is an admiral quality—and in most instances, it is an essential part of making the world a better place. But misplaced charity often distracts women from achieving their personal and financial empowerment.
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God created each of us for a unique purpose. That purpose includes self-actualization and prosperity in all areas of life—including finances. Our mission then becomes to evolve and grow into our best selves and journey on the path of our divine destiny.
When we recognize our higher calling, we understand how our money can help us make a bigger impact in the world, and then our potential becomes unlimited.
Only when we women make self-care, personal growth, and financial well-being a priority can we truly give the best of ourselves to those we love.
Women would do well to shed the belief that we must give others our time, energy, or money just because we have it. A more responsible approach is to secure our financial wellbeing first—which means our retirement is funded, or at least on track to be funded. Only then can we safely give to others without compromising our future.
My job as a money coach is to remind women to prioritize financial self-care. After I helped my client see the issue from all angles, I suggested she spend some time journal writing to discover the best decision for her situation.
For women deciding whether to loan money to their children, here are a few questions to consider:
If they do not repay this loan, will it compromise my financial future in any way?
Is my retirement funded or at least on track to be funded?
Do I have unsecured debt? Auto loan debt? Or student loan debt?
Do I have enough to retire if I get laid off or can no longer work?
When answering the question, should women loan money to their children, there is no correct answer. The best decision for you is the one that empowers you financially.
Is your mindset keeping you poor? Are you ready to create a wealthy money mindset?
Hello, I’m Patti! I’m a Christian Life & Money Coach, Ramsey Solutions Master Financial Coach, Health Coach, writer, and former retirement planner. I’m also an award-winning co-author of She Writes for Him: Stories of Resilient Faith (Redemption Press), and prayer warrior, serving on the prayer team at my local church.
My mission is to provide inspiration, coaching, tools, and resources to help you claim all the goodness and abundance God has for you.